Sweat-shirts and tea-cloths, egg-timers and toasters,
Trash-cans and letter-heads, tissues and posters;
Elegant china for under the bed,
Are part of the homage when Princes are wed.
His and Her images loom through our litter,
Stare from our tankards of half-finished bitter;
Lurk in the dregs of our coffee and tea,
Hide behind every fish-finger and pea.
She in her diapers and perambulator,
He on balloons with an auto-inflator;
Charmingly smiling, they paper our walls,
Peep from the intimate depths of our smalls.
Salvers and goblets and carpets and coasters,
Anything goes for the merchants to roast us
Let’s hope they’ll spare us the ultimate naff
Of rubberized royals to float in the baff.
( from ‘Bertie at the Royal Wedding’ )